A Room to One’s Self –
And at that moment he realised he did not know anything about her at all. Gerald could not fathom how he was led astray by the many afternoon coffees, laughter and kisses over cocktails, long walks through the park and lay-downs during his free weekdays, when he had to go away for “business”. Gerald did not go every month to Lecce in Puglia to discuss with the municipality whether their famous papier-mâché relics qualified as UNESCO heritage, which was the story he sold his wife and kids at home. Instead, Gerald went to Ayvalık to see his lover whom he met at a stop-over in Istanbul about a year ago. He gave her the nickname Constanza, for being “constantly” not in Italy. It made her blush until she got used to him being a constant tease. Constanza is a shy and homely woman. Not what one expects a mistress to be like, superficially speak-ing. She is fair haired and fair tempered, has a love for English historical novels and watches at least three episodes of Gilmore Girls after a stressful day at work. He is easily smitten by her little daily tales, her gentle sensibilities and elaborate cooking. As snacks she’d serve salted anchovies and salmon jerky from Izmir which made him go wild.
Only one thing was conditioned by Constanza: Gerald could only stay at her place until 20:00. This did distress him to be fair. It sometimes made him suspicious of her having another lover but when this idea appeared he’d wave it aside as absolute non-sense.
As far as Gerald was concerned the evening was just like many others. It was cosy, much laughter, great wine and she made a delicious roasted patlıcan with sauce. After dinner, Gerald became a little tired and fancied a little lounging on the couch. Also, tonnight he decided to test her boundries. As the evening proceded he noticed Constanza becoming increasingly more uncomfortable and observed her peaking at her watch. In her attempt to finding excuses for him to leave he would interrupt her with cryptic mumblings and pretend to fall asleep. “She is so cute when she gets nervous”, he thought. And not much longer Gerald afterall fell asleep.
After eight, Constanza disappeared. Gerald eventually opened his eye-lids and noticed that she was not in the room. After realising she was not in the bathroom he got up. He called her name as he walked through the hallway. He noticed a door being slightly ajar with light shining through it. As he pushed the door open his eyes were startled by the intense lights and colours that fell upon his dazed vision. There he found Constanza lying on her side resting on a bright pink, fur carpet with her back facing towards him. She wore an abstract, leopard printed dress and had kicked off some bright orange heels.
“Constanza...?”, called Gerald with some hesitation.
“Is that you, I mean, is this your room?”
“One day you had to see this. I have been keeping this away from you all this time”, Constanza replied as she took a drag from her self-rolled cigarette.
“You see, after eight I become an art collector and retreat to my “Collection Room”. It’s like a spell that draws me into this role, it gives me a feeling of power and autonomy over my gathered universe. This space is my temple of confidence.”
“When did this happen to you”, asked Gerald now wide awake.
“I have been interested in art for many years but after I bought my first art piece it was the beginning of my holistic obsession. Eventually, I created a room for myself where I can be alone with my collection. And since then, after eight o clock, I get drawn to this ritual.”
Constanza swirled her legs in the air and landed her feet in the carpet, digging her toes into the fur moving them in circular movements.
“I had no, idea, you were that into....art?”, stuttered Gerald while his eyes dwelled through the various objects and images in the minty colour room. His eyes now rested on her bare foot turning on a kinetic sculpture. She turned her head and exhaled her last cigarette puff.
“Darling, spending time with you has been wonderful but this room has been a true con-
stant companion. A room for one’s self, I can truly recommend.”